I am a middle child.
Eldest daughter.
I have a brother who is one year older than me.
We are blessed with fraternal twin siblings who are a year younger than me.
My mother had to make a tough decision to work overseas when I was 8 years old,
to help with the family finances.
This is when the roller coaster of an adventure began.
With no parent by our side, everyone was worried how we'd turned out.
We're nowhere near perfect now, but we sure did make it through.
And here are the things we've learned from our journey that still benefits us to this day.
1. Learning how to budget.
The budget game started when my older brother was 17. We learned how to haggle in the market, buy what is necessary and made sure we made it through the next month. As teens, it was easy to get tempted, and there were plenty of times when we just gave in. At times, we would learn our lessons on budgeting the hard way. But after a few months, we got better at it.
Kwento: We took our younger siblings to a nearby 'perya'. The twins made Php 500 from the Php 20 we gave them.
2. Acquiring survivor skills and Learning to designate tasks.
You could imagine the chaos at first, no one wanted to do any chores. Or everyone wanted to do one chore only. Learning to designate was lesson number two. It always worked when you ask kindly. We took turns doing tasks. By doing this, we got trained to survive even on our own. We learned to cook, wash the dishes, wash our own clothes or clean an entire house.
Kwento: The first thing I learned to cook was rice---burnt rice. Thinking I could undo the burnt, I put more water and boiled it again. Ending? Burnt flavoured arrozcaldo.
3. Taking in what's positive and learning from the negative.
From living on our own and having to move from one place to another, we have met so many people from all walks of life. A lot of them have provided us guidance but there are some that tested the goodness in us. With years of this experiences, we've pretty much mastered the art of knowing when to absorb the lessons of a positive experience and when to stay away from the wrong ones.
4. Learning to be independent.
This is one of my favorite life lessons on growing up without my parents by my side. I love how I have learned that my happiness is not dependent on a certain material or a particular person. That I can do things on my own without the need to depend on someone else. I learned the perfect timing for seeking help, but I also know how to find it myself if needed.
5. Decision Making and Problem Solving.
Being on our own and with parents overseas, our knack for problem solving has been polished very early on our lives. From issues with finances, time management and even siblings management. Being independent taught us to find resolution from within before reaching out, and how all problems have a resolution, if only we are patient to find it.
Looking back, I have become more grateful of what we had to go through, as they made me who I am today. I wouldn't wish the same kind of family issue to anyone, but if you're reading this because you are starting on a similar journey, just hang in there! Love yourself! Trust that it will get better, because if you believe it, you can make it happen.
xoxo,
~d
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